ROMPER REAL TALK: RAIA CAREY AKA COACH CAREY
For our readers who don't know you, tell us a little bit about yourself.
WOWZAAAAAA!!! Where to start? LOL I think this can be a tough question for all of us. I’m a Life Coach and Motivational Speaker, and my passion has always been helping people tap into their hidden confidence. I’ve spent my life working on that within myself. I was bullied a lot as a kid and I had a few choices to make: become the bully and hurt them before they hurt me, or rise above and lead with love. I chose the latter, and it has been my top life value ever since.
My goal is to share what I’ve learned along the way, while being my authentic self, leading with love, and spreading some positivity and joy!
What inspired you to pursue a career as a life coach?
Well, from a young age I was always fascinated by why people do the things they do. Cognitive patterns were something I studied a tremendous amount while I majored in psychology in university. However, I felt as though the industry was very ‘black & white’, and I THRIVE in the grey area. Fast forward 7 years, when I heard about coaching it aligned everything I was waiting for in my career pivot. I was able to help people, be myself, and incorporate my psychology background as well.
You are all about helping your clients find their inner confidence. What do you do to boost your self confidence?
I truly practice what I preach. I dip into my imaginative tool box. For anyone who hasn't heard me speak on the “tool box” before, it means the things that help you feel at your best. We all have something, but we don't always recognize it as a ‘tool’. Placing it as a tool allows for it to be more top of mind the next time you are having a bad or sad day etc. Some of my top tools are: swimming, meditation, music, and laughter with my fave people.
You're an inspiration to your clients and followers—who do you look to as a source of inspiration?
Honestly, I find inspiration in just about anything. From a quiet morning, to a good book, to dinner with my best friends. I think inspiration comes in a variety of forms, and inspiration can mean many things to different people. I’m always inspired by the people who have every reason to have hate in their heart but lead with love. That takes true courage and power. As well, some of the greats I’m inspired by are my parents, Maya Angelou, Brene Brown, Rachel Cagle, Brendon Bouchard, and James Clear, who wrote one of my favourite books last year, “Atomic Habits.”
How do you practice self care?
My selfcare really looks like REFUELING.
Mind, body, soul.
I often take weekends to go offline and take breaks from screen time. Or head to a cottage with my close friends. Being by the water has always been my happy place. Slowing down to speed up is always something that works well for me. Soaking up some positive vibes and love from my fave people always refuels me as well.
You believe in the power of language to create a culture of inclusivity. What are some simple and effective ways to start using more inclusive language when talking about race, gender, sexuality, etc.?
Absolutely. I focus on language when working with my 1:1 clients, and I’ve seen it create such an impactful shift in their lives. I think we all have heard that our thoughts create our actions, but no one seems to think about what creates our thoughts - LANGUAGE! It's important for us all to be mindful of the language we are using when talking to ourselves/about ourselves/to others. I think in regard to race, gender, and sexuality, the best advice I can give is to truly ‘think before you speak’. Would you feel offended if someone said something you plan to say to someone else? This is always a good guideline to start with.
Like us, you're an advocate for body positivity. What advice would you give to someone struggling with their body image?
Absolutely, this is a tough one because what may work for me may not work for others. We are all on our own unique self-love journeys, and I always want to hold space and honor that. One of my fave tips that I use for myself, and my clients, is starting to get comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror in my birthday suit. I often encourage people to do that for 10-30 seconds a day and pairing this with affirmations makes SUCH a difference. This practice allows for you to start finding the thing you love about your body. When you feel comfortable in your own skin, that shows up outwardly. The more we love ourselves, the more we can open our hearts to others in a selfless way = EMPOWERED CONFIDENCE. We pour from the overflow, not from a full or half full cup.
When you aren't coaching, leading DEI workshops and making a massive impact on the world, what do you do for fun??
LOL great question. I LOVE SPREADING POSITIVE VIBES! I have a big personality and lots of ENERGY! So fun for me is typically activities. Swimming, hiking, sports, anything to get my body moving while also seeing friends or meeting new people. I love music and theatre, hopefully when things are fully opened back up, I can get back into seeing live shows. LAST BUT NOT LEAST - DANCING! Literally you can catch me dancing anywhere; in the shower, waiting in line at Starbucks, on the street, in the elevator hahahahaha - I swear it always refuels my energy.
What is your idea of a perfect day off?
Hmmmmm, is there such a thing as a perfect day? I think the days I would consider ‘perfect’ are the days where I FEEL my best + authentic self. Which typically look like:
- Getting a good night's sleep
- Morning meditation and lots of water
- Movement of any kind
- Showing up and being present with work and clients
- Fueling my body with good food
- Catching up with friends and family
- Taking time to myself to decompress
Who are some of your fave accounts to follow at the moment?
OH YESSSSSS!!! I’ve got a few I’m loving -- handles below!
- @thequeenpriyanka
- @thebirdspapaya
- @valerialipovetsky
- @mirandakerr
- @thebodcon
- @jameelajamilofficial
- @mswjake
- @basementgang
- @shayla0h